When I started working at my current club, I made a conscious decision to present myself as half-Japanese and half-Korean, my logic being that I’d be more “exotic" if I could claim two ethnicities as opposed to one. This of course, ended up leading to some pretty interesting conversations, ranging from the face-palmingly racist to the head-scratchingly bizarre.
Customer: Asian male, late-20’s
Him: “So what kind of Asian are you? I’ve been trying to figure it out."
Me: “I’m half-Japanese, half-Korean."
Him: “Oh, that actually makes a lot of sense."
Me: “It does?"
Him: “Yeah, ‘cause on one hand, you’re like this sweet, kinky Japanese schoolgirl…but then on the other hand, you’ve also got this bitchy Korean dominatrix thing going on."
Example 2:
Customer: Asian male, probably Chinese, late-50’s
Him: “So which of your parents was Japanese and Korean?"
Me: “Well, I’m a Sansei on my dad’s side, but my mom was born in Korea."
Him: “Ah, it makes sense that your dad is Japanese. They’re definitely a ‘higher’ race than the Koreans."
He then asked if he could go down on me in the VIP rooms for an extra $100, to which I politely declined.
Example 3:
Customer: Caucasian male, early 40’s
Him: “So where are you from, if you don’t mind me asking."
Me: “I’m half-Japanese and half-Korean."
Him: “Oh, I love Korean women! I think they’re the most beautiful women on earth. My wife’s actually Korean."
Example 4:
Customer: Half-Asian, Half-Caucasian male, early 20’s
Him: “So, um, what kind of Asian are you?"
Me: “I’m half-Japanese, half-Korean."
Him: “Oh wow, so you’re a mix like me! That’s so cool that you’re both."
So what have I learned from all this?
For one, race is definitely a socially created construct: a lens of perception through which we hone in on certain characteristics and personal traits. I’m not actually half-Japanese and half-Korean but the truth of it didn’t matter, because once I planted this idea inside my customers’ heads, they only saw me through stereotypes.
I also learned that for all the racialized sexual politics in a white man’s fetish/"preference" for Asian women, sometimes the most despicable racist misogyny can come from Asian men. I guess this just means that anyone can be a chauvinistic asshole, regardless of the color of their skin! (Hooray.) Not that this excuses white men from doing it. Being objectified as a racial fetish by any man — white, yellow, brown, black, green, whatever — is fucking stupid.

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